Surprise Guest!

I got the weirdest message from an old OOOOLD friend of mine, via Facebook. Apparently she’s been in a bit of a crisis lately.

She was a good friend to me when I was young, at least that’s what I remember, she apologized profusely for treating me poorly but I have ZERO clue as to what she’s talking about and told her as much.

Anyway, she went on and on, and randomly asked me if she could come stay with me. Have a visit. Ummmm SURE! I haven’t seen you in over 20 years but yeah, come on down! Even she agreed that it’s weird, but frankly, I know this girl. I mean, we haven’t spoken in forever, but when someone is close to you when you’re young; it always feels like you’re one conversation away from giggle-fests and slumber parties!

She also told me something that was really shocking. She said that my Pole stories and videos, etc had been inspiring her to go out and try new things. MY POLE STUFF INSPIRED HER! Whaaaaa??? I was dumbfounded! But I think I get it, it’s refreshing to see someone who’s “old and fat” like I am being bold and confident. I know I’m not old and fat, but she and I are the same age, looking at 40 with a side-eye.

So yeah, I have to tell Boyfriend that we’re having a surprise guest during the 4th of July, I’m sure he won’t mind, but it’s still bizarre!

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Um yeah, I won!

This last weekend was my Pole Competition. I had my routine from last year’s recital, so it’s not like I was panicking, but still. With the family deaths, I wasn’t exactly rehearsing daily or even weekly. So I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to even place.
I modified my “big trick” to include a Remi Sit to add another level of difficulty, since I was entering as Level 1 which is like, the lowest level, I wanted to have something cool!
I also planned a dramatic surprise. I loaded my lips with a bright solid color and layered on some goopy gloss. Then, at a critical emotional moment, where I tapped into the sorrow, terror and loss I’ve been dealing with; I let my face break down, I started shaking and almost scream/crying. THEN I ran the back of my arm against my lips and smeared all that color across my face and down my arm. It looked like I was bleeding! And because nobody at my studio knew I was doing it, I got authentic gasps from the audience. It was very satisfying.

I nailed my big trick, but messed my ending up a little bit; but I wasn’t upset about it. I did exactly what I wanted to do. I took my judges and audience through an emotional journey. Whether they understood what emotions I was dancing or not, it doesn’t matter. They felt something.

I got 1st place! Technically I got a perfect score (they throw out the lowest and the highest, but I only got one 2nd place vote and 4 other 1st place votes so…yeah!) so that was amazing to see.

Pole Class Fail

Today sucks.
The teacher is on this “dance on a chair” kick. And that’s great except there’s only 1 good and stable chair so it means we don’t get enough practice time.
Plus, some of the moves I can’t do comfortably yet but that’s on me.
And I’m on Period Day 1 so everything hurts and sucks and is hard and I hate it!

I like this class, Level 3, because it’s a challenge but when I’m in this mood, it makes me discouraged.
Blah.

Slipping, with Style

My recital piece didn’t go as planned. The music cut out at a crucial point, granted it came back on about 4 beats later, and I missed the “big trick” I’d been so excited to show everyone.

It wasn’t because I wasn’t physically capable of doing it. I wasn’t because I was reaching too far and trying something my body wasn’t equipped to execute flexible wise, I wasn’t “too fat or old” to do it. I came in a bit too fast and the pole was just too slippy. It happens to EVERYONE, even doing simple non – inverted tricks, the advanced girls will bail out if the pole is too slippy.

So no. I don’t feel bad that I missed my favorite part of my routine, my “big trick” during the recital. I didn’t have a backup move for that section, so I just danced it out. I didn’t have a choice, really. I tried to keep the emotional same-ness from the trick and just tried to convey it from a different move. I kept going.
Same thing with the music cutting out. I have a dance background so I know if the music stops, you just keep counting and going. Luckily, the music came back on with dramatic flare right when I needed it to and it made a good impression on the audience.

Afterwards, so many non-pole people made comments about how much they liked my routine. One of my teachers had two of her brothers there at the recital, neither had seen her do Pole before and hadn’t seen any non-stripping Pole Dance before. They both made a point to tell her that I “has got IT” and how well they thought I did. That they were impressed by how expressive I was and how strong I was.
And THAT was the point of the routine. THAT was what I WANTED, so how can I possibly be upset at myself? I accomplished what I set out to do!

Also, I’ve been convinced to enter an actual competition next year with that same routine. After all, if I can dance in 90 degree heat with a slippy pole, I can definitely dance in air conditioned comfort and confidently say that I WILL NAIL that favorite move of mine and dance so hard that I leave part of myself on the stage.

I’m a Money Dancer?

I’m performing at the recital this Friday for the Pole Studio I call “home”.

I’m VERY nervous but mostly excited about it. I’m no stranger to public performance. I danced and sang from the time I could speak or take a step. But Pole?? POLE IS DIFFERENT.

My piece is NOT a badonk-a-donk piece, THERE WILL BE NO TWERKING FOR ME, it’s more dance-y with some minor-ish tricks. It’s about expression, not hardcore “hanging upside down by my pinkie toe”. I do wish I could do some of the hardcore stuff, but I’m happy with the routine I have as a whole.

My music is Chandelier by Sia, chopped down to a mere 2:04 minutes because that’s all I can do right now. Pole is hard, guys.

All my Pole Sisters that have seen it during rehearsal or Open Pole sessions have all gotten really excited about it. One even wants me to compete at the next competition, in March I think. My initial reaction is “nooooooooooooooooo” but the more I think about it, the more I think it’s possible. I’ve got a few months to fine-tune the whole routine, but the stuff I want to put in, wouldn’t be a Level 1 performance, and Mom Boss (one of the owners and one of my favorite instructors) says that for your first competition, it’s good to “go down a level” from what you actually “are”. And I know she knows what she’s talking about.

Still, that’s a-ways away; the countdown in front of me is Friday. There are some people from The Cubicle Farm going (eeeeep!) and Boyfriend might have the night off and be able to go which is really a cool thought! Some of my best friends are hoping to go, which would REALLY make me feel better.

I’m preparing myself mentally. I know I’m going to be relying heavily on the adrenaline rush I’m going to get when it’s my turn to perform. During the dress rehearsal, my instructor I’d been using to help me pull my routine together called me a “Money Dancer”. Which made me laugh and then forced me to ask “What does THAT mean???”

“You dance and you mark and you practice and it’s fine. But when the audience or a camera turns on, YOU LIGHT UP THE ROOM”, she explained.

That makes me feel much more confident that I’ll do just fine during the recital. 🙂

What the frack

As per usual, I had a minor victory over a goal move and then danced with reckless abandon in Pole Class last night and I’m fairly certain I pulled a muscle in my ribcage again.

When am I going to learn that when I have a minor victory in class I ALWAYS get injured????