Parent or Husband?

Brother is going to couple’s therapy with Faux.

Initially he said he was going so they could both learn to co-parent Baby Nephew, which admittedly is exactly what I’d expect from Brother. The willingness to cooperate for the good of his son.

The problem is, they went to her therapist.

Granted, Brother had prepped by talking to his own therapist, gotten some verbal tools and insight to keep himself on task and what to expect. Faux sat sobbing as Brother explained how betrayed and hurt he’s felt for months. Every time Brother would make a statement, the therapist would turn to Faux and “translate”, basically dumb it down for Faux.

Faux is not smart. She’s also very immature and selfish.

Which made me bring up this question to Brother:

Do you want to be a parent to Baby Nephew and to Faux?

Faux is behaving like a child. Instead of coming to the conclusion that shacking up and seeing this other dude was wrong; she had to be told by her therapist to move out of this other dude’s home if she wants any chances at making the marriage work.

Sorry, but that seems like a BIG FAT DUH to any reasonable human! But Faux had to be told!

Faux also wants a laundry list of actions she can do to “earn back the trust” of Brother. She doesn’t seem to understand that even if she follows through and does anything and everything suggested; that trust may not ever come back. It’s like she moved out of the Other Dude’s house and expected Brother to just welcome her back into his arms and for everything to fine.

She forgets that she left my Brother emotionally for months before. Granted, Brother says that he “shut down” and “didn’t communicate” his feelings…I looked at him and said “Oh. Well. That makes you a guy. So what?” because it’s completely understandable for the situations he was going through that he would shut down and not talk to the one person who was supposed to be supportive unconditionally but was making the situation worse!

Brother has made it clear that he’s not going to make any rash decisions, and I support that. If it turns out that he and Faux get back together, it will be difficult, but I’ll support that too. Through gritted teeth.

My biggest concern is my brother and my nephews’ happiness. Because Brother can’t relate to nor have regular conversations with Faux, I firmly believe that they should part ways and accept that they were only brought together to create Baby Nephew. That they won’t be happy if they remain in the marriage together. They are too different. But it doesn’t mean they didn’t love each other at one time. It just didn’t work out. The divorce doesn’t have to be nasty, I just think it needs to happen for the sake of each of them.


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