Pretty has been ignoring a major problem. Her “friend” isn’t in love with her the way she wants him to be. The way she acts like he is.
She helps him take care of his kid, she gives him emotional support when he needs it, she’s his backbone and his “best friend” when he asks. And sometimes when he doesn’t. She’s been setting herself up for some time now.
He’s a chicken. He’s afraid to be in a relationship, and all the buzzword filled nonsense that boys use when they are fucking a girl they don’t have romantic feelings for and don’t intend to have a relationship with.
She claims they haven’t been sexually intimate for months. But she forgets there are other ways of being intimate with someone. When you need a hug and a cuddle and can only sleep when they are next to you in bed? That too is being intimate, it feeds that need for connection and it can be more dangerous than just being a “fuck buddy”.
This “friend” was supposed to go to a Halloween party with Pretty. He never showed. Instead, he sent her a picture of himself at a rave (of all things) with another girl up on his shoulders with the caption “Well this happened”. And THEN, when Pretty told him she was upset, he had the nerve to ask her “Why??”
WHY?????? I mean, REALLY????
Pretty handled herself, well, like Pretty does. By stifling it down for a day or two, then randomly trying to constructively have an adult conversation. But she isn’t coming unglued at him, because she doesn’t want to “add to his stress”. However, her blood is boiling! Her feelings are hurt! And I totally get that!
I told her “you are NOT a punching bag or a stress ball he can pick up when he needs to relive some tension! You have every right to be angry and to pop off at him!” But she’s afraid to.
I’m really seeing similarities between “friend” and Hat, her ex-husband. Both of them are younger than she is, significantly, both have made messes they are trying to clean up in their lives and are very selfish in that they got involved with her when they had no right to.
But the same goes for her. During the most recent conversation, he told her “You can see other people too, you know that, right?” COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT that SHE DOESN’T WANT TO! She WANTS to be in an actual relationship with him, but he has told her “I can’t handle a relationship”; it wasn’t a challenge, it was the truth! He can’t! But she’s ignored it and still fell into it.
So now what? Is she just going to be content feeling broken and used and sorry for herself? Is that her life now?? I’m worried that’s what she thinks! I try and buck her up, I try and challenge her to think things through and for herself, but right now, it’s not working. I think all I can do is be mad at him for her and let her wallow for now.