Don’t ask me! I’m just the offspring!

The social worker from the hospital called yesterday. 

My Dad was due to be released from the hospital yesterday; in fact his progress has gone so well (he’s walking again and his balance is back) but with the disgusting state of his house being known, they can’t release him. Or won’t. I’m not sure.

She actually asked if I had any ideas of where he could stay. Then, she outright asked if he could stay with me.

I had a minor panic attack, but managed to keep my composure for a few minutes while I explained, this isn’t going to happen.

He doesn’t think the house is that bad. The fact that human feces and vomit coating various elements of the house, doesn’t seem to faze him one bit. Somehow I think he doesn’t believe it’s there. 

He’s using the hospital as a hotel right now, a hotel that dispenses his pain medication. If he’s continually on pain medication that’s working, he doesn’t have to drink. But that also means he’ll be alone. And bored. And the family members I’ve been speaking to all agree that he simply cannot be left unsupervised. 

After fishing a bit; when the social worker finally asked me if he could stay with Boyfriend and I. I told her “The person you need to talk to and ask these questions of is my Father. What has he said?” To which she admitted that she didn’t know.

HOW DID SHE NOT ASK HIM FIRST??? She told me that he’s lucid, he’s competent. WHY DIDN’T SHE ASK HIM where HE wants or thinks he should go???? That made me start yelling a little. 

She knows the man is stubborn, she knows he’s an alcoholic that mixes his meds with booze, she knows that he can’t be left to his own devices…WHY IN THE HELL didn’t she ask HIM what HE wants to do! 

It goes right back to the thing that everyone thinks; if he’s asked by his daughter, or family members, he’s more likely to change his mind or do something contrary to what he wants to do.

AND THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE. He couldn’t CARE LESS that I’m his daughter asking him to do something. I’m 37 years old and he thinks of me as an incompetent 5 year old. WHY ON EARTH would he be persuaded by me??

He wouldn’t. That’s the answer.

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