No is a complete sentence

Brother texted me about my Dad. Apparently Dad called him several times in a row, left him a voicemail because his gate opener is broken and that means he “can’t” get off the property. I use the quotes because if he weren’t drunk, he could manually open the gate.

Brother was home with Baby Nephew because he has his first cold. 

Naturally, Dad morphed into a selfish prick and threw a fit because Brother wouldn’t go help him. He claims the gate opener in Chatty’s car (that we use to transport Chatty to doctor’s appointments, to the store, around anywhere really) is his property and he demanded it. He also quipped that Baby Nephew has two parents, doesn’t he? Which was over the line. (Poor Brother, taking care of a sick baby, Faux has gone back to work so Brother is tasked with childcare in the interim.)

Brother contacted his mother, Chatty and conveyed the “demands” and of course, she refused. Chatty and my Dad are still married, even though she’s in the hospice it’s still her house too and it’s the only method she has of getting on the property. Brother relayed the message, Dad disputed that Chatty would’ve said something like that (honestly, it’s like he’s forgotten who his wife IS) and tried to guilt trip Brother, saying how he’d “remember this”. *rolls eyes*

After that, Dad called me. Repeatedly. Until I called him back to find out what was wrong, even though I’d gotten the warning from Brother.

He demanded my gate opener-remote. I flatly refused. I reminded him that he and Chatty made me buy my own when I had a brief 6 months of living there in 2003. He claimed to have no recollection, and then asked to “borrow” it for two weeks. I refused again. He started demanding again. My attitude came out swinging.

“Hey Dad? You’re calling me to ask for a favor, maybe you should stop yelling at me!”

He tried to deny that he was yelling. Saying that “no one” was helping him and he’s “stuck” on the property. I blasted right past that. I told him that if he came at Brother the way he came at me? That probably didn’t help his situation. “Demanding” this and “Demanding” that; that’s not the right way to ask for a favor. Besides, they used to have no less than 5 openers, he’s “lost 3 of them and broke the 4th. Considering he’s the only one who had the access to the 3 openers because he took them away from the caregivers when Chatty was living there. 

He’s created his own prison. But at least he can’t drive to get alcohol if the gate won’t open. 

I told him that I could run him over to Home Depot to buy a new opener the next day, but I couldn’t give him my opener that day because I had class and wouldn’t get out until late. I could tell he wasn’t happy about it. And he tried to badger me into just giving him my remote again. He also mentioned part of his conversation with Brother, saying that Brother was “hiding behind his Mother” which was complete bullshit.

I told him, “Dad. ‘No’ is a complete sentence. I’ve already told you no you cannot have my opener. It’s mine, I paid for it. For someone insisting that they have their property, you should understand that by now.” He tried to negotiate with me, offered to “compensate” me for my opener. Finally I had to tell him:

“Dad, the reason I’m not going to give up my opener is because I’m not letting you isolate yourself completely. Even though you can’t leave the property right now, you have your phone and you can call for help. If I give you my remote, you could fall and get hurt or die and nobody would know because nobody can get on the property.”

He sighed, obviously irritated, but finally took me up on what I could do for him.

That interaction with him threw off my whole night. I couldn’t concentrate in class, couldn’t fully participate. I ended up leaving a little early so I could get to Home Depot and buy a new remote. I wanted to make sure I didn’t have to run him around, even though I had told him that was the plan. 

Frankly, after his behavior I don’t want to spend much time with him in person. I’m too irritated with him.

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