Needy: The Fine Line

Pretty has become a bit Needy. But not in the way you’d normally define it.

Anyone who’s been through a brutal breakup can tell you that being alone (even in a room full of people, but especially if they are strangers or acquaintances) is absolutely abysmal and can result in a neediness that is palpable. Attaching yourself to a friend or small circle of friends creates a life raft to keep you from falling back into bad habits (*cough cough* texting or calling your ex *cough cough*) and zapping your new found singledom.

I know certainly have planted myself firmly into the embraces of friends many times over the course of my Relationship Lessons. Sometimes becoming too much of an emotional burden to my nearest and dearest. Bless them, my friends have seen me through hell and gone; sometimes have had to come clean my house because I was too depressed to get out of bed. They saved me when I wasn’t able to save myself.

Pretty isn’t that far gone, and I doubt she will even get close to that. But she is having trouble with her new found Alone Time. She isn’t used to it! She’s been caretaking for boyfriends, family members and roommates for years so it’s ingrained in her to be around others. Then along came Hat, who must’ve recognized the Motherly trait and managed to score the ultimate and have Pretty marry him (well, she wanted to marry him too, but still…) and take care of everything for him! Pretty was used to this! So now that she’s stepped out and said “NO MORE OF THIS!” and has taken steps to dissolve her marriage to Hat; she’s having a bit of trouble just being “solo”.

Case in point; she’s only gone out by herself when there’s no other option. Granted, most people wouldn’t go out at all if there was no one to go out and meet. But I’m a firm believer in taking myself to the movies or taking myself shopping; making the time for myself. Yes, it’s nice to have the camaraderie, but it’s important to be able to be by yourself and like it! 

Because we live in the area of the United States that we do; having her own apartment or home isn’t something that Pretty can swing at the moment. So she’s moving in with a different mutual friend who shares a multiple roomed home. She’ll have lots of roommates to take care of, she’ll rarely be alone. Which, if she were a different person, I would think that was a good thing. But with her, it’s very easy for her to fall back to the old House Mother pattern. She needs to look after people!

I will say this, it has been TERRIFIC having her around, and I knew I missed having one on one time with her when she first got together with Hat and since; but I forgot HOW MUCH fun we have together so it’s been really nice. I feel like my friend Pretty has come back into herself and that’s so great!

Hat can suck it. 


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