My new nephew was born on September 6th (just a few days ago) and the first words out of my Sister In Law Faux’s mouth to me was “Girl, adopt!”
Poor Faux. She had a rough time. They had pushed back the induction twice, and it took her a looooong time to fully dilate. When it was time to push, Baby Nephew was “Sunnyside Up” which means face up and isn’t the way doctor’s/midwives/people who guide babies into this crazy-bananas world want them to be, apparently it makes it more difficult or something. I believe it! Faux wound up with a Stage 4 tear. Basically, she got herself a new asshole and then some. It took the doctor 2 hours to stitch her up. So yeah, she no longer wants to be pregnant again by Christmas. Hell, she doesn’t even want to have another kid!
During those first two hours, Faux wanted nothing to do with Baby Nephew. Understandably, she’d just been through some trauma, BOY HOWDY! So Brother sprung into action; handling the “overseeing” of doctors, nurses and the like. He gets that from his/my Dad. That “if I’m not there watching, they won’t necessarily do their jobs right” thing. It’s definitely a learned trait. I don’t share DNA with Brother, but my Dad raised him. I was raised by my Mom in another state, but that’s a different story. My point was that I don’t really have that trait. I have a “What’s that do?” and “Is that what the problem is?” and “I’m a curious person, do you mind if I watch you work on my carburetor?” trait. Again, another story.
Even with the epidural, Faux was aware of the trauma and didn’t want to hold Baby Nephew, and it wasn’t until the nurses insisted that she complied. Granted, she was also very tired, I can’t really blame her. When Chatty and I went to visit them all in the hospital, Faux looked at me and asked “Does that mean I’m going to be a bad mom?? I don’t want to hold my baby!” I did my best to reassure her that No, that’s not what that meant. It meant that she was tired and had been through a bodily trauma and she needs to give herself a break! I don’t really know if that was the right answer, but it felt right and after all, she’d just given birth and it’s just what you do when something like that has happened! You be nice!
Brother has completely become Mr. Mom, he’s excelling at it just as I knew he would. But he’s also forgetting to take care of himself, like I knew he would. When he texted that they were on their way home from the hospital, I asked if I could go and make sure the dog was outside (I’d been taking care of their house for the past few days) and hang around to help. He took his time in answering “Yes” but when I got there, I was obviously a welcome sight. Brother had completely forgotten that he’d need help getting Baby Nephew and post-birth Faux into the house along with all their bags and gear.
Faux went to take a picture of Brother bringing Baby Nephew into the house for the first time, I stepped in and offered to take the picture of The Family coming home for the first time. The look on Faux’s face was priceless, like she hadn’t even thought about it! Even though both Brother and Faux were tired and Baby Nephew was passed out in the carseat, it was a great moment and a great picture.
I got Faux and Brother settled in, brought them refreshments and started their dinner for them; Chatty and her Sister in Law, Brother’s Aunt, came over so Chatty could hold the baby. It was a really special moment. While all this specialness was happening, I looked over at Faux sitting in an armchair on the far side of the room and she was busy texting on her phone. Totally uninterested in her own baby being held by his Grandmother for the first time.
I kept my mouth shut. She gave birth to a baby, she gets some slack.
While Chatty was still holding Baby Nephew, I took my leave. Their coming home wasn’t supposed to be filled with people, it was supposed to be for them; while I was more than happy to help and was certainly needed, I didn’t want to overstay and intrude on their bonding. Especially Faux, she needs the baby bonding. I’m hoping that with a decent nights sleep and some alone time with Baby Nephew, she’ll find her instinct. I think she will.