Reasoning with the Unreasonable

So Pretty moved in with me and Boyfriend. It’s been 5 days, by far the saddest was day 3 when she moved a bunch of clothes in, including her wedding dress. It’s in my closet right now so she doesn’t have to look at it. However the veil and underskirt are in her closet, so as far as not having the reminders, we’re flunking.

She’s starting to tell people at her work. People that know Hat and worked with them both on projects. She’s also hypersensitive to people she thinks might know already. I told her she’s a little paranoid about it. And people are going to say what they are going to say. It doesn’t really matter what they think.

Thankfully, the night of day 2 (yes, I understand that is confusing); Pretty came back to our house late. She’d stopped and had a long conversation with Hat at their apartment. And it went much better than anyone could have expected.

Hat has decided to let the divorce proceed. He’s not going to fight her on it. I think he finally heard her when she said “I don’t want to hurt you anymore” which makes me mad because why does he only listen when it’s about him???? Chalk one more up to Hat’s selfish and immature nature. 

Though, honestly, I’m glad he’s not going to be a dick about it. I was afraid Pretty was going to have to fight like hell. But Hat appears to have accepted that being unreasonable isn’t going to make her want to remain married to him. She told him “I’m never going to be able to give you what you want” and that is a child. She’s resolved. His disconnect to any kind of Faith has ruined any chances of the two of them having a kid. Does he understand that it’s his fault? I don’t know. I kinda hope so. Not because I’m horrible and want him to be in pain, though part of me kinda does. It’s because Hat needs to be broken down, he needs to find some Faith. Hopefully, he’ll be able to now.

Pretty is still in Survival Mode, though she’s still thinking as a caretaker. I’m trying to get her to stop “taking care” of anyone else but herself. Saying things like “I’m doing what’s best for me” instead of “us”; it’s hard for her. She’s never allowed herself to do what she wants first. It’s a double edged sword; she’s incredibly considerate of others, but isn’t considerate of herself. 

I’m really hoping she can find the balance she needs. 

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