Actual text conversation:
Me: “You took out the garbage. I’m so blowing you tonight.”
Boyfriend: “You’re welcome :)”
No, there was no sex that night. But that wasn’t the point.
Boyfriend and I divvied up household chores from before he even moved in. I have no problem doing laundry and dishes, but I hate taking out the garbage. HATE. He doesn’t care for any of it, and told me that I didn’t have to do his laundry (regularly I don’t, I only insist when he’s working like a madman and winds up using one of his days off to sleep and sleep only. I feel bad.) and that he would take out the garbage. Naturally that agreement spawned a “Man’s Duties: Women’s Duties” discussion that ended in tears of laughter.
He’s not the best at remembering to take out the garbage. And that’s being kind. Tiny fruit flies started to infest the kitchen because the man wouldn’t take out the freaking garbage. Yes, I could have done it. But I DO THE DISHES, THAT’S MY CHORE!
When Boyfriend does something I like, I make it a point to thank him. Whether it’s a literal “Thank you for making the bed!” or “You made the bed, you are my hero!”. I’ve crawled on his lap and smooched him all over his noggin just for throwing away his Del Taco cup.
My point is, I acknowledge that he does these things to keep him doing them. It’s the standard “Positive Reinforcement” schtick. It’s not news. But it works!
Nagging? DOES. NOT. WORK. UNLESS you make a HUGE point to praise the crap out of them when they actually do the thing you’re nagging them to do. You HAVE to be appreciative!
It’s NICE to be appreciated!