I had a hemorrhoid. Either that or an alien poop baby was clawing it’s way out of the wrong birth canal every time I went to the bathroom.
Do I know that giving up my beloved macho sized Coke Zero every day (and sometimes an additional 20 oz bottle, or two later on) caused these horrible events? Nope.
Did I go on an only water, milk or tea streak for over a week anyway? YOU BET MY SWEET ASS I DID.
I had been drinking that delicious soda for years, YEARS without a problem. When without warning or cause, this horrendous pain and more blood than I’ve ever seen come out of my body (and I’m a woman) from the most painful place it could possibly do so. I had to do something, and yes, I used the Tuck’s and the Preparation that is H but it was taking far too long. I needed to be proactive. I needed to ACT.
And it’s been over a week that I’ve had a single aspertame soda, and 3 days ago I didn’t want to shriek in pain when I used the restroom. I nearly did a victory dance, but that would have been even weirder than this post.
So yeah, that’s why.